My story and who I am contradict what is considered "appropriate" for a woman. I am an activist, a Black feminist, anti-prohibitionist. I work with harm reduction policies for people who use drugs, and I am a mother. In other words, all of these things together, this combination, makes me deviate from all the standards that society expects from a woman who is a mother.

Since I don't fit into this feminine stereotype, it has affected my entire life and even my relationships. I have experienced various types of violence because of partners who didn't understand my work as an activist, my travels, and the influence I was gaining in political discussion spaces. Some would even support me publicly, but that attitude didn't reflect within our home. For men, it's very difficult to see a woman dedicating herself to her own career or occupying a space in politics that has always been reserved only for them. Due to gender constructs, it is expected that women are always there as supporters of men's plans, while our own plans end up being put aside.

I have experienced various types of violence throughout my life, and for a long time, I believed it was my fault. I would think it was because I was too outgoing, because I enjoyed dancing, because I drank, or any other action of mine. It was only after getting involved in the feminist movement and maturing, that I realized I was not to blame. In fact, that guilt is just a way to try to silence us.

The violence persists to this day, distorting my image as a mother and seeking to discredit my work in defending human rights. But I am not ashamed of who I am. The women who came before me fought incredibly hard so that today I can be who I want to be.

*This was written based on the story of Ingrid Farias.